LEAVING
by astha22
Summary: See Edward argue with his family when he wants to leave Forks in New Moon. The tempers rise, and Edward gives an emotional speech.


_**LEAVING**_

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE: - Hiya, folks! I'm on a writing spree! I know I should be writing YANA right now, but I can't seem to care less! If you're angry, sue me. If you're Edward (or any of his family), bite me :)**_

_**I should really tell you this is the beginning of New Moon, from our Vampires' prospective.**_

Edward slammed the door to the house when he entered. The sound of the door-jamb cracking was oddly satisfying. He didn't want to think, didn't want to remember Jasper's frenzied thoughts about Bella, his Bella. How her arm had looked, torn up by mere glass, and how she had insisted it was nothing.

For him.

She put too much faith in all of them. They were demons, and she stubbornly argued they were white angels. They weren't good for her. Her blood had such an irresistible pull to it that even _he_ was sometimes scared he might…

Edward cursed himself when his throat burned.

He sighed, regaining his poise in an almost automatic gesture, and made his way to Carlisle's study. He could hear jasper's thoughts, as well as his voice, as he continuously berated himself.

"I'm a horrendous monster. I always knew I couldn't be tamed, Alice. I must've scared her so much! I…I never meant to…Oh lord! I—I don't belong here. Yes…I will leave."

"You leave, mister, and I'm going to rip you apart! We are all Vampires, you understandably lost control because…"

Edward stood in front of Carlisle's door, and waited. He knew Esme was inside, and he did not pry on her thoughts, or Carlisle's for that matter. He could not find the energy in him to do so. His decision, his heart-rending decision was made, and if he felt an enormous hole punched through his heart, he told himself he did not need his heart to function.

"Come in, Edward."

"What's wrong with Edward?" Edward heard Jasper suddenly ask in another part of the house. "He feels…dead."

"Well done, Sherlock," Edward heard Alice's dry reply, and then, without warning…

"_NO!_"

In an instant Alice was next to him, facing a very confused looking Esme and Carlisle.

"You _can't_, Edward!" she yelled. "You'll perish! It will be the end of the road for you. And she'll _DIE!_"

Edward flinched horribly, but turned to Carlisle. "We need to go away from here. You can barely pass for thirty, and are claiming thirty-three now. We'd have to start over soon regardless. So let's go."

"You're leaving Bella _here_?" Esme's voice was close to screeching. "But you can't, Edward! Alice is right! You'll perish without her. She's your mate! Alice saw it. You… Hell, no-one can survive without their mates."

"I'm no good for Bella. My world is not for her. I put her at too much risk just by being close to her! I can't do it any longer."

"Then change her," said Carlisle quietly. "Or let me."

"SHE'S _EIGHTEEN! _A_ child, _and nothing more!" Edward exploded. "She's supposed to have normal friends. I want her back with her friends, eating hamburgers and worrying over her latest math test. Not some monstrous vampire who wants to kill her every minute of every goddamn bleeding day."

"She's older than you were when I changed you," Carlisle pointed out.

"Those times were different."

Carlisle growled. That caused the entire household to come to a standstill, because Carlisle _never_ growled.

"Why are you being so fucking _selfish_, Edward?" Carlisle also never swore. He found it impulsive and crass.

_That_ stunned him speechless. "Me? _I_'m being selfish? How do you even come to such a bright conclusion, may I ask?"

"Of _course_ you're being selfish," said Alice. "_You_'re judging what is right for her without even consulting her. _You_ don't want to turn her into a vampire, even though I have seen it. You are being too selfish, Edward. You make me question if you really do love her."

"_I LOVE HER! I love Isabella Marie Swan more than I love all of you combined, and it scares me like hell. I'm new at this! It's so frighteningly strong an emotion it sometimes strangles me! I have childish bouts of jealousy towards people like Mike Newton for thinking inappropriately about Bella! I'm jealous of Jacob Black for touching her and hugging her so freely, when I cannot. I am scared for her, Alice! I'm scared I will break her one day, if I'm too careless. I'm scared she'll suddenly realize she doesn't love me anymore. I'm scared_…for her."

"Edward," Carlisle said, pinching the bridge of his nose. "We'll all go to Denali. Alice will keep tabs on Bella. If you both take it well, we're coming right back."

"He feels dead already. And desperate," Jasper said from the doorway. He had just fed; his downcast eyes were a liquid butterscotch. "They will both die."

"Either way, we give it a try." Carlisle would have cried if he could. He knew what happened to vampires who lived without their mates, and he was loath to seeing his son in the same predicament. But the only other creature as stubborn as Edward was the one they were leaving behind.

"Is she asleep?"

"Yes."

"Tell her tomorrow."

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE: - as the entire series is in Bella's POV, I love to think of how the others might have reacted to stuff that happened in the movie. That is where this came from. Be kind and tell me how you like it, okay? I'll put in a good word for you with Edward if and when I meet him. And yes, I know that was a really silly bribe. But…whatever works :) **_


End file.
